Okay so those of you who follow me closely may have noticed that I haven’t been updating my social media as regularly, I haven’t been blogging as much, and I’m not uploading weekly videos. This is for a whole manner of reasons, but the key being expectation.
As a British teenager there is a lot that is expected of you; from working hard to attain grades to get into Universities or a job, maintaining a solid social life, eating healthy, regularly exercising, being active on social media, getting enough sleep, spending time with family, love life, the list goes on and on.
And right now it has all kind of hit me like a tonne of bricks and the realisation is slowly starting to hit me that life really isn’t easy. There are so many things that you’re expected to maintain within your life that it simply isn’t doable without having a nervous break down every few weeks.
Right now I live in University halls, and don’t get me wrong I absolutely love it, but the stress of having to cook your own food, wash up and clean after yourself, do your own washing, making sure you arrive to your lectures and complete the work, whilst continuing the standard uni social life is a pretty tough ask. Now people may say “well cut out the social aspect of your life”, but I keep getting it hammered into my brain that “uni is the best years of your life” and “it won’t last forever”.
So I guess I’m constantly in this rut of ‘get an early night and do your homework’ and ‘nobody remembers the nights you went to bed early’.
I want to make memories yet I don’t want to wear myself out, but I feel as though I have already been burning the candle at both ends now and it is starting to hit me.
So right now I’m stuck, there honestly doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day and the moment I do have spare time, it’s often taken by napping as I spend the majority of my time having to catch up on sleep.
Also there is the distraction, I feel like when I am at home the distraction is none existent, but when you live in uni halls and there is about 10,000 students within a mile radius of each other, that’s just a recipe for not getting anything productive done, EVER.
I guess right now I’m coasting, but I don’t want to be. I want to be making waves and make people stand and watch as I do it. I constantly have this fear of the future and post uni life, like do I focus on growing my blog and YouTube because it’s what I love to do? Do I focus on university? Because getting a 1st in my degree is incredibly important (especially if blogging/YouTube goes wrong). Or do I focus on being healthy and maintaining good social relationships with my peers, because at the moment it kind of feels like I can only achieve one.
Hopefully writing this blog will give me a kick up the backside and the motivation to try and get all three. I am a hard worker, but right now I feel like an iPhone 3 running on 4%, the brightness down low with airplane mode on. When I want to be 4G ass kicking iPhone 6+.
I have three more weeks of uni before Easter break, so lets see what I can do.