- Have sex with your flat mate
This one without a doubt will happen in (any normal) university halls, hormones raging, heavy intoxication, it’s gonna happen. It all starts when you and your flat mate have had one too many tequila shots and before you know it, you wake up in a familiar room, with the same layout as yours, but you realise you don’t have a rug on your floor, only to roll over and see your flatmate laying there next to you… oops. Subsequently what follows is awkwardness and then not being able to look each other in the eyes for next fortnight.
- Fuck up your second year housing
Now I know this may be a massive contradiction but I actually had a great house in second year, nevertheless, that doesn’t mean it’s great for others. A lot of people commit to pals who they meet in fresher’s week and seem great at the time. But then six months later none of you are talking, you’ve already put a £400 none refundable deposit down and you realise Jez (who you drunkenly met at union bar) is actually a massive dick, sorry Jez.
- Leaving everything till the night before
A guy in my flat studied English Literature and had an essay due in every Wednesday at midday. Unfortunately for him, one of our favourite student nights was a Tuesday. This meant he often spent half of pre-drinks drunkenly writing his essay. Then after we get back from the club, he’d finish off concluding, followed by a semi-drunk/ hung-over glance at it before submitting it the following morning. Let this be a lesson, don’t leave it till the night before.
- Fucking up referencing
I’m now in my third and final year of uni and not 100% sure if I’m referencing correctly, but that’s all just part of the fun… In all seriousness though, many of my peers and myself, actually make sure you know how to reference correctly, because you will lose marks.
- Sleeping instead of going to your 9am
We’ve all done it, it’s a cold rainy November morning, and your alarm is going off at 8am. The idea of putting yourself anywhere outside the cosy burrito that is your bed just doesn’t seem fair.
- Setting of the fire alarm in your room
In first year some of my friends were messing around in my flat in halls, and one of them had the bright idea spraying my fire alarm with my deodorant to see if the alarm would go off. 10 seconds later, I can confirm that spraying any kind of aerosol into a fire alarm, will indeed set it off, but also fuck off your entire halls of residence along with all the flat tutors and halls security J.
- Not signing up to a GP and just accept you may die any day
You just won’t do it, you’ll be too lazy, and lie you’ll to your parents and say you did. Then you’ll find something wrong with yourself three weeks later, and self diagnose yourself with Ebola (I definitely didn’t do this).
- Shopping whilst hungry
There has been many a time I’ve done my food shop on an empty stomach, and convinced myself that I needed all sorts of commodities that I just didn’t. But nobody I know was as bad as my flat mate, who in first year for his weekly shop, racked up a bill of £67. Have some toast before you go kids; I promise you it’ll be worth it and your wallet will thank you kindly.
- Running out of loo roll
Worst experience ever, you’ve just done a number two and reach for the loo roll, only to find an empty corpse of what was once a beautiful chunky roll of white goodness. So instead you have to improvise with Kleenex or complete an MI5 style mission to your flatmates loo and steal some of those. (Yes both of those occasions happened, and yes, I have no shame.)
- Buying your entire reading list brand new
I was actually both too slow and not studious enough to make this mistake. Many students before term starts end up spending hundreds of pounds on brand new books they don’t actually need, or if they did need not buying them second hand or online for free. A lot of the books that are on your reading lists will be available online as PDFs, in google scholar or in google books, trust me it’s worth looking.
So that’s all the studenty mistakes you, or your peers will probably make if you’re a first year, and maybe even final years (I know I will). Hope you all enjoyed it and take care, until next time.